Quote on the scrap page: Life may change, but not fly;
Hope may vanish, but can not die;
Truth be veiled, but still burneth;
Love repulsed, but it returneth~Percy Bysshe ShelleyI am not part of the Scrap Girl Book Club, but I read their challenge, and decided to combine their challenge with Tuesday's Freebie challenge.
My Muse: My parents married March 29, 1969, and the following April I was born. When I was twelve they divorced. It was not pretty, and to this day you can't mention one to the other. I have always felt like I was walking on egg shells around them, and matured very quickly because of their divorce. Being the only child, all of the burden fell on my shoulders, trying to live two seperate lives, depending on which parent I was with. Life would be so much easier if we could all just get along on some sort of understanding level that God created each one of us and as such we should be respectful that this person was uniquely created. Agree to disagree,and for your grandchildren's sake, do not make them feel inferior because of anger they know nothing about or should have to experience. You were in love at one point after all, can you not find something in your heart that justifies being civil, you know forgive like the "Instruction Manual/Bible" says? It doesn't mean that you can't be guarded, but why keep rehashing old stuff, and be bitter for the rest of your life. Let those in your life remain there...but don't cause a shadow for others to stumble and fall over.
My relationship with both of them have been rocky at times, over the years. I learned from their "marriage mistake", but had it not happen I wouldn't be here. I have to say that sacrafice has played a major roll in my own marriage, being a military family isn't easy. Through it all, I have overcome, I have survived.
On May 17th, Norm and I will celebrate twenty years of marriage. Not only would I not be here, but nor would I have met one of the most special people in my life, my step dad. He meant so much to me, and helped me grow into becoming the woman I am today. He always taught me to look into my own heart, and not always worry about pleasing everyone else. He taught me to care what other people thought, but to do what I thought was best, and follow my heart. Let the rest of the world get used to the idea or handle it the best way they could....everyone eventually comes around, love will find a way...or is it really love/selfishness others seek.
Today, he is gone, but he still holds a special place in my heart. Mom is living her life, and we talk frequently. I don't always agree with her choices, but she is my mom, and I respect that. Usually I am just like yeah, whatever, and listen to her babble about whatever has her panties in a knot today. Dad is remarried, and we talk infrequently, but he has his own life. When we chat it is usually pretty superficial: How's the weather, Good to chat with you too....love you, bye. So I really don't know much about him. He remarried once my uncle passed away, they lived together until he passed. Other than knowing my dad's wife's first name, and that I have at least two much older step siblings, which I certainly don't know anything about, life goes on. They all seem to think from what I gather that I don't care about my dad, since I don't have a close relationship with my dad like I used to. When Dad had his heart surgery I got a nice earful, about how seemingly selfish I was because I wasn't there, and even dad told me to stay here and take care of my family...but that's another story.
I guess the biggest thing I have learned over the years is: "Be happy....with me in your life, or kept at arms length...everyone needs to do what makes them happy." If you can stand living in your own skin, then what difference does it make what everyone else thinks. I am not one to force my way into anyone's world....so love me for me...or they can kiss my ass. I don't have to bow down to anyone, or reform to anyone's standards anymore. Am I brash, sassy, or being a selfish bitch? I just try to be honest with everyone, and I am tired of tiptoeing through life, and sugar coating the truth. Remember you aren't the only one with feelings...I have feelings, that have just as much meaning as the one's you express. Many times, I have been told that I am nothing but a child, with my feelings on my shirt sleeve, little girls are to be seen and not heard, or that I am pretty much just being selfish...well guess what, I finally have opened the window and just maybe I have an opinion, that means as much to me as your's does to you...
If there is one thing that I will never settle on is my children, feeling slighted by anyone because of a past relationship. I would rather shelter them and stay away, than to worry about someone's feelings being hurt over a bunch of bull.
It's simple...life goes on...be happy...with or without me.
I would like to say "Thank you" to my understanding friends, that have lent me a shoulder, or let me bend their ears in the past. You have helped me come out of my shell over the years and realize I do not have to relive the past, but take life one day at a time. Life goes on, and making my own decisions, is what is best not only for me, but my family.
I would also like to say "Thank you" to Ro and Scrap Girls for your inspirational muses, in the Scrap Girls Newsletters they do help us Scrap Girls keep hanging on to hope, faith, and happiness. I don't know some days what I would do without this creative outlet.
